this happy nest

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. “Pooh,” he whispered.
“Yes, Piglet?”
“Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw, “I just wanted to be sure of you.””

This sweet little excerpt from Winnie the Pooh by A.A. Milne is a reflection of our heart’s desire – to be sure of our friends and to hold them close. The painful thing about friendships is that sometimes life gets in the way of that sureness and closeness. As an adult, I find that my most intimate friends are spread the farthest distance from my home. These unique individuals have a kindred spirit and pour life-giving words and joy into my heart. Some friends spring up like bright spontaneous Morning Glories, winding their way around our heart and bringing cheerfulness for the season. Others bloom dependably like the Peony I lovingly planted a couple years ago, and I water and enjoy it each year when it comes back and graces me with its beauty. Yet as a 28-year-old now married woman with a 2-month-old daughter, I find myself with that childhood longing for a “bosom friend”, as Anne Shirley from Anne of Green Gables aptly called it.  As a kid, I imagined the perfect friend as someone who shared everything with me – her secrets, her heart, her life,  half of her bologna sandwiches. Like Piglet, I wanted a friend that was there, always beside me and I was sure of her. My first best friend was Rachel, and I loved her hard and fast, the way most kindergarteners do, but my family moved to Pennsylvania and I started at a new school. My second real best friend was in junior high, and we were inseparable. When my parents moved our family just before my sophomore year, it was like my heart was being ripped from my chest. Oh those high-as-a-kite and sharp-as-a-knife emotions we experienced as teenagers. I cried for months. By the time I tossed my red cap with gold tassel in the air, I had a new best friend, but this time college took me from her to Indiana. Goodbye, Best Friend #3; Hello college roommate! My randomly assigned dorm roommate became my rock, the giver of the other half. Seriously though, Number 4 shared EVERYTHING! I still think that Kentucky must breed the nicest people. But once again, I transferred schools. Let’s fast-forward: enter Boyfriend #2, best friend replacement for most of college, he moves to another state, we fail miserably at long distance, enter Best Friend #4 (an old friend from before), Graduate, move to Louisiana, move to Colorado – Hello group of amazing friends of assorted ages! Goodbye mountains, Hello Nashville, TN and another magical roommate (I’ve had incredible “luck” with roommates to this day! Yep, that would be a nod to my current roommate, my husband.) Living with someone is a great catalyst to friendship, but life gets in the way: work, boyfriends, grad school, moving away, marriage, work, baby…Hello 2012, with me sitting at my desk typing this best-friendship timeline. I know the pattern there, but I also know that I have loved and learned from the semi-nomadic lifestyle I have led. I cherish all of the amazing friends, casual and intimate, that I have gotten to know along the way. Its just that – sometimes you wish you could just keep one, even just one, forever.  I am envious of my friends who live in the same town as their best friend (husbands discounted). There are other cards stacked against me too: the fact that I am introverted by nature, independent, and accustomed to being alone, not needing anyone else. I realize that developing deep relationships requires vulnerability, availability and time. I will need to commit to keeping my heart open and let go of the fear that people leave or that I might. So, I will dig in. And I will wait and pray. Sometimes we make the mistake of thinking God’s not interested in our desires – but of course He is! His heart is made glad when we experience fulfilling relationships, jobs, even hobbies that bring us joy. If something is big enough to be on our heart, then God wants to be in it and through it. Besides, love and friendship are the best of who God is. He wants us to discover it not only in Him, but in each other.

If you are reading this post, I would love to hear your perspective or maybe a story of the friendships in your life. Feel free to drop me a note or an email. And we can celebrate and commiserate together.

Shalom, Lauren

Winter gloom may not invoke thoughts about gardening for you, but earlier is better when it comes to planning a successful garden! The Rayburn Family is a little ahead of the game this year in that our 25ft x 30ft garden plot was inaugurated last spring. My knight with shiny rotary-tiller (aka my husband, Aaron) dedicated a lot of sweat into breaking soil for our family vegetable garden. I was finally getting the garden of my dreams, unfortunately, my pregnant procrastinator self was late seeding and our heavy Tennessee rains washed away baby zucchini squash, cantaloupe, and cucumbers. Thankfully, I had purchased starter tomato, strawberry and pepper plants so we at least had  some production. I was too lazy and discouraged to start over on my lost plants. Each year I learn from my mistakes, and I take my gardening a little more seriously. If you’re interested in taking gardening for a spin, here’s my Top 10 Gardening Tip list for beginners, 1. Use Sevindust to protect plants against aphids and other insects. 2. Construct towers for tomato plants to climb vertically as they grow. 3. Start seed indoors and then plant the seedlings at the appropriate sowing time specific to each plant. 4. DIY Composting – a cheap and eco-friendly way to provide nutrients to garden soil. 5. Put down a weed barrier (especially when you have a large garden!) 6. Cover plants in danger from frost. 7. Protect garden from critters with an effective fence. 8. Plant in mounds and mound rows for better drainage. 9. Leave enough space for sprawling plants. and 10. Keep yourself motivated because the payoff is so rewarding!

When it comes to number 10, its important to enjoy the process and establish a routine BEFORE the 100-degree summer weather arrives! I find its helpful to set aside the same time each day to water, weed and relish in the growth of your garden. Listen to music on your iPod, or try an audio book. In those hot summer months, drag yourself out of bed early before the sun is high and the heat unbearable. Early morning is also helpful if you have small children, so your spouse can care for them before heading to work, freeing you up to work outside in your garden. Or have them play in the yard while you work. If your kids are old enough, take every opportunity to teach them about the benefits and joys of growing your own food. Enlist them as helpers and instruct them on how to weed around the plants and harvest table-ready vegetables.

If you are new to gardening and want some “Gardening for Dummies” information, check out a few great websites that I enjoyed…

DIY Compost Bin - http://thehappyhousewife.com/frugal-living/diy-compost-bin/

Composting 101 - http://www.composting101.com/what-to-use.html

Planting Schedule Cheat Sheet (just put in your own zipcode!) http://sproutrobot.com/nashville-tn/planting-calendar/37209

Food for the Family Table: Backyard Vegetable Gardening http://www.thisoldhouse.com/toh/photos/0,,20364156,00.html

If gardening sounds like too much work, and you’re just not convinced, read about the benefits of growing your own at http://www.growveg.com/growblogpost.aspx?id=177

Happy planning!

One of the most prolific and life-changing books I’ve ever read is “The Five Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman. In fact, once I read it myself, I started buying extra copies and gifting them to friends and family, attempting to sow the seed of happier relationships. Ask yourself the following questions: Do I want to love better? Do I want to feel more loved? If you answered yes, then you should read this book.

Dr. Chapman states the obvious – we give love and receive love differently from one another. Identifying and understanding our own “love language” and the “love language” of those close to us is the key to fulfilling relationships. As a marriage and family therapist, Dr. Chapman observed repeatedly that couples often suffered not from not loving their spouse, but a continued lack of “feeling loved” by their spouse. Chapman isolated the five ways of expressing love: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Quality Time, and Receiving Gifts. To discover your love language, take the quiz at http://www.5lovelanguages.com/. You have the ability equip your marriage, save floundering relationships, and empower your loved ones. Today is the day to start learning a new language.

Shalom, Lauren

As Americans, we put a lot of stock in New Year’s resolutions. Our lists usually include: lose weight, get organized, spend less money, and so on. You can read a Top Ten list for 2012 at http://www.2011resolutions.org/top-10-new-years-resolutions-for-2011/.  Most of those ten things are usually on my list every year. I am a self-proclaimed list-maker. Its a chronic disease, really. My thoughts must be ordered on a page or I find myself either overwhelmed by life’s tasks or crippled by indecision as to where I should begin. Unfortunately, this leads to multiple pages and more hours of work than can be accomplished. No one enjoys feeling inadequate on a daily basis, so I decided to ratify my usual method of annual resolve. This year I decided to focus on quality, not quantity. What if I resolved to change my attitude instead of my actions? Replace sit-ups with thankfulness and a deep-cleaning list for more grace? I never succeed at New Year’s resolutions anyway, so this year I made one, singular and wholistic goal – to live more joyfully.

My favorite Hebrew word is “shalom”. It is used as a greeting or farewell and on its face means “peace”. The beautiful thing about the Hebrew language, however, is the depth of meaning held in each word. Below the surface value, words convey feeling, emotion, and even intent. Shalom’s deeper meaning is “complete peace”. It is a feeling of contentment, completeness, wholeness, well being and harmony. I have noticed in my own life that peace often stems from a sense of gratitude and trust. When I am thankful for what I have, I feel content. When I trust that I am loved and God is in control, I feel at peace. So what is the practical application of this resolution, you ask? I will become a student of gratitude and an observer of what is good. My goal for 2012 is to recognize moments of joy and provision, love and grace, and the simple beauty of this world we take for granted every day. And because it is 2012 after all, why not use social media? You will be able to follow me on my blog, twitter or facebook as I bump and fumble my way through a paradigm shift. I’ve enclosed a quote from Chuck Swindoll to accentuate the need to address our attitude toward life.

I speculate how my life, my family, my world would be different if I embraced a new attitude toward them. I want to rediscover that sense of awe and wonder we used to know as children.

I enjoy using “shalom” as a farewell, as if speaking over them the beautiful wholeness and contentment of complete peace. And so my friends, as we all begin a new day in a new year, I wish you a deep sense of well being, harmony and contentment.

Shalom, Lauren

Cleaning my house is a vicious cycle. Between the dog, and the cat, and the other cat, simply keeping up with the pet hair and dander is a chore. Add to that the dust, the dishes, the muddy floor, and my bacteria infested countertops…I can never get ahead of the curve. Yet cleaning is a must for me – for my sanity, my health even my spirituality. So I went looking for some pointers on how to have a cleaner, healthier home without breaking my budget.

To learn how to be a conscientious housekeeper, read the articles below for suggestions on alternative cleaning products:

Wise Bread: http://www.wisebread.com/save-some-cash-with-these-6-clever-cleaning-hacks

Green Living Tips: http://www.greenlivingtips.com/articles/136/1/24-handy-lemon-tips.html

NOTE: for cat owners, I suggest buddying-up with a friend on a Costco membership and buying your cat litter at Costco. We buy a 40 lb. bag of Fresh Step for $14 (includes tax). And reuse those plastic bags from the store or from friends to empty out the litter box.

This week I committed to organizing the documentation of our life by printing 2 years worth of photos. My much-hated ability to procrastinate took a blow as I transferred nearly 300 photos to a portable thumb drive for the trip to a photo kiosk for printing.

Colorful flashes of friends, birthday parties, girls’ night out, bachelorette parties, our very photogenic puppy, and various holidays dropped into the basket as thoughts like “look how skinny we look”, or “look how tan we were”, or “wow, I’m glad i got a picture of THAT!” go through my mind photo after photo. I lugged my giant stack of photos home in a bag and unloaded them with a handful of discount picture frames and one family photo album.

Diligently I sorted the images by events or themes and one by one slide them into the plastic sleeves. The passage of time reflected in that book, now filled with our memories, felt good. Look where we’ve been, the great friendships we enjoy, the milestones we’ve achieved. In a year that has sped by me, it felt good to pause, and re-live all the laughter and fun.