I pressed my cheek against Aaron’s chest and snuggled in a little tighter, burrowing my cold feet under his warm ones. It felt like we were dating again, a never-ending snuggle-fest and hours of discourse on any range of topics from the superficial to the spiritual. I roll to my side to check the time – 12:30! We had gotten in bed at 9pm. I yawn contentedly and snuggle back into the security that I enjoy this man’s companionship more than any other human being on the planet.
Our recent evening of “pillow talk” (hey, get your mind outta the gutter!) reminded me of a conversation that I had with a co-worker a couple years ago. He had gone on a date with his wife the night before and made a rather ironic comment. “We were having dinner, laughing and just having fun, and I remembered how much we like each other!” We chuckled, but as I look back on it, his comment rings true. We get busy and go on autopilot. Married couples need to be reminded, not only of the romance, but the friendship. My guess is that the happiest marriages are the ones that invest equally in both.
I read once that you can be married even 15 years and still learn something new about your spouse. This was not meant to frighten, but to encourage us that we should never stop “dating” our spouse. Remember when everything was exciting? You asked questions, listened to bands that he likes, watched movies he recommended, tried new restaurants together. You were spontaneous! As I have been gardening this week, I can see some parallels. The key to a great garden is time. Time spent in the garden, tilling the earth, weeding it, watering it, being vigilant for predators, and nurturing it. The most dangerous enemy to any garden is an apathetic gardener. In the old days, apathy equaled starvation. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE a 9pm bedtime! And sleep is important, but maybe a few hours a week is worth remembering what an amazing person sleeps next to you.